For primary a couple of weeks ago we did a candy extravaganza for out class. They were able to earn about 25 pieces of candy each. I thought this was great since I never went to sunday school since none of my teachers did anything cool I always skipped and then just came back over later on for priesthood.
If they read a scripture they got a piece if they answered a question they got a piece if they did a wordshearch they got 10 pieces if they had scriptures or would go to the library to get scriptures they would get 5 pieces. I tried handing out equal amount of each type to the kids so it would be fair and if they didn't like something they could always just trade it with another kid in class.
Well during sharing time one of the kids started going around to the class and giving people the candies he didn't like and he would say I don't really like this so here you go I hope you have a Merry Christmas or Happy Thanksgiving, you know, it wasn't too smooth but it was kind of nice instead of waste it he could share it with others in hopes that if it was passed on enough eventually it would fall into the hands of someone that would use it.
Recently my sister had a birthday. She made a pretty big stink about us not making a big stink about her birhtday. So on her birtday I had only called her up and said happy birthday knowing she would be offended if I showed up on the same day and gave her her gift. I had thought what would be better than this kid had done than get something she couldn't use in hopes of starting up a regifting madness.
I thought about it long and hard and then the thought hit me I could see if they had anymore John Mccain action figures. Because nothing says action quite like toy figure of a 72 year old man that isn't even fully posable. Someone tried to talk me into buying an Obama one as well so they could fight and I said that it will be an Obama-Nation soon enough. They didn't get the joke either, but anyways I bought one and put it on my desk at work and thought this is freaking awesome, not only can I not really do anything with it but it doesn't even serve a real purpose either. What better gift could I give to her than this. She doesn't even have a workspace she goes to five times a week where she could put it and if she takes it out of the box her kids won't play with it either as they are kind of scared of his face.
I gave it to her I was going to wrap it then I just thought to myself aw like she is going to care if its wrapped.
I am still envious of my student though. He regifted my gift in front of me and I didn't even say anything because I didn't realize he had given me back one of the candies he didn't like to me and I didn't even think about it til it was too late.
It would be a great feat to pull this off to say you have accomplished such a task would certainly add some street credit to your reputation. This is the perfect time of year to regift something like you get a crappy fruitcake from a boss at work then you give it to a friend at work and act really proud and excited like you really made it yourself.
I guess I have done this task once. When my little brother got married I took a 2 quart cooker that my parents had given me and gave it to him and his wife at their wedding shower. I also took a 105 year old lamp from the late 19th century and gave that too them. My mom said hey we gave you a cooker just like that, I responded back right in tune and I loved it so much that I wanted him to have one "exactly" like it. Later on I found the exact same lamp in my parents house they said it worked perfect in their computer room, I just thougth to myself a sucker is born every second.
Don't you love getting weird things for birthdays, Christmas, Boxer day that you can't use and then think to yourself I do my part to get people regifting and look the spirit has worn off a little on them, there is no way they would have really boughten a George Foreman grill is there?
Monday, December 22, 2008
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Dove Chocolate messages are thought provoking
I have been eating a bunch of the Dove chocolate candies. I love them because they are delicious. I started eating them thinking hey they put enough slogans in the chocolate wrappers that I could write a nice holiday card from them if I save all my wrappers.
My plan was going great my card would start with the first wrapper which was, "Spending time is a greater gift than spending money." I was thinking man anything that comes after that is going to be awesome, but the next phrase didn't fit as well as I hoped. "Joy is contagious." Okay so I might to rearrange 20 wrappers to have the perfect holiday poem but I got "joy is contagious" again.
Darnit I can't stop at that note I had better eat another chocolate and get a new message. YES! "Feel the promise of a warm day." Oh we are back on track. My plan seems flawless.
Now I have opened the past 13 chocolates trying to get four lines that I could use to arrange the first verse of my poem, however all the last 13 have said "Joy is contagious." Without a doubt I am going to break the record for most consecutive times in a row to get the same message.
If this was a horoscope business they would be out of business by the second day because no one wants to keep getting the same message, "Don't leave your house today or something bad will happen to you." I once listened to a bad horoscope for enough days in a row, but finally I decided I had enough I wasn't going start my day by listening anymore, I would just wake up and go right to work and then come home to see what it said maybe good fortune is just around the corner or you will meet someone soon hum could that be a new teenager at the drive through of the local Taco Bell. So after 16 days I lived my life and got up and went right into work and was fired for missing too much time! I gathered my teenage mutant ninja turtles up and my John McCain action figure and went home and to check and see if my luck was about to change. You wouldn't believe the nerve of my horoscope it said, "You didn't listen to me did you!"
I will tell you this right now I am not going to eat these anymore I can't keep getting myself into these never ending cycles, only to find that when I break the cycle tragedy befalls upon me. I think I am going to write them and help them come up with a few more slogans. I like the word contagious its catchy its got some real pizzaz to it! I will tell them you know what else is contagious, Anger. Anger is contagious. Hows that for an inspirational message. Imagine the person that reads that one Mr. Smelly Fartknocker "Anger is contagious." I bet that Smelly will finally realize the Christmas spirit and pass it along to his coworkers the same ones that hogged all the Joy for themselves. And when he gets finished passing along the Anger maybe he should know that Fire is contagious so he can hide how much anger he had to share, or maybe he should get one that says Bleach won't remove the blood stains, or do you really want to flee to Mexico. I hope that guy is reading the same horoscope I kept getting when the cops show up at his doorstep. Um Smelly Fartknocker. This is the Police we have got you surrounded please come out with your hands up and I hope he says to them no my horoscope said "Don't leave your house today or something bad will happen to you." But then I hope they drag him out of his house and he gets 40 years in jail, and when he gets into the jail he get a Dove chocolate out as he goes to read it it says something like You didn't listen to me did you? and he gets angry with it and opens another chocolate to find "Anger is contagious." and he gets really angry and is praying that he can just get something that is truely inspirational and as he opens it up it says Big Lou is your daddy now. When he gets to his cell he might look up at the six foot nine inch gargantuan of a man and say you must be big Lou, do you want a chocolate. Big Lou will of course ask these are the new Doves chocolates the ones with the inspirational messages right? Yeah yeah of course I wouldn't offer you the bad dove chocolates and I hope Big Lou opens up his to find out another great message which has to keep using that great word contagious. He will go to read it and it will say something like Big Lou STDs are contagious.
My plan was going great my card would start with the first wrapper which was, "Spending time is a greater gift than spending money." I was thinking man anything that comes after that is going to be awesome, but the next phrase didn't fit as well as I hoped. "Joy is contagious." Okay so I might to rearrange 20 wrappers to have the perfect holiday poem but I got "joy is contagious" again.
Darnit I can't stop at that note I had better eat another chocolate and get a new message. YES! "Feel the promise of a warm day." Oh we are back on track. My plan seems flawless.
Now I have opened the past 13 chocolates trying to get four lines that I could use to arrange the first verse of my poem, however all the last 13 have said "Joy is contagious." Without a doubt I am going to break the record for most consecutive times in a row to get the same message.
If this was a horoscope business they would be out of business by the second day because no one wants to keep getting the same message, "Don't leave your house today or something bad will happen to you." I once listened to a bad horoscope for enough days in a row, but finally I decided I had enough I wasn't going start my day by listening anymore, I would just wake up and go right to work and then come home to see what it said maybe good fortune is just around the corner or you will meet someone soon hum could that be a new teenager at the drive through of the local Taco Bell. So after 16 days I lived my life and got up and went right into work and was fired for missing too much time! I gathered my teenage mutant ninja turtles up and my John McCain action figure and went home and to check and see if my luck was about to change. You wouldn't believe the nerve of my horoscope it said, "You didn't listen to me did you!"
I will tell you this right now I am not going to eat these anymore I can't keep getting myself into these never ending cycles, only to find that when I break the cycle tragedy befalls upon me. I think I am going to write them and help them come up with a few more slogans. I like the word contagious its catchy its got some real pizzaz to it! I will tell them you know what else is contagious, Anger. Anger is contagious. Hows that for an inspirational message. Imagine the person that reads that one Mr. Smelly Fartknocker "Anger is contagious." I bet that Smelly will finally realize the Christmas spirit and pass it along to his coworkers the same ones that hogged all the Joy for themselves. And when he gets finished passing along the Anger maybe he should know that Fire is contagious so he can hide how much anger he had to share, or maybe he should get one that says Bleach won't remove the blood stains, or do you really want to flee to Mexico. I hope that guy is reading the same horoscope I kept getting when the cops show up at his doorstep. Um Smelly Fartknocker. This is the Police we have got you surrounded please come out with your hands up and I hope he says to them no my horoscope said "Don't leave your house today or something bad will happen to you." But then I hope they drag him out of his house and he gets 40 years in jail, and when he gets into the jail he get a Dove chocolate out as he goes to read it it says something like You didn't listen to me did you? and he gets angry with it and opens another chocolate to find "Anger is contagious." and he gets really angry and is praying that he can just get something that is truely inspirational and as he opens it up it says Big Lou is your daddy now. When he gets to his cell he might look up at the six foot nine inch gargantuan of a man and say you must be big Lou, do you want a chocolate. Big Lou will of course ask these are the new Doves chocolates the ones with the inspirational messages right? Yeah yeah of course I wouldn't offer you the bad dove chocolates and I hope Big Lou opens up his to find out another great message which has to keep using that great word contagious. He will go to read it and it will say something like Big Lou STDs are contagious.
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